Although I do have happy things to post and will do so this week....I need to get something off my chest.  I have been focused on running a a 5k and not getting swallowed alive by this school year.  I have used the stress and emotions of this school year and excuse to eat poorly.  Nothing horrific just not  the way I need to in order to loose weight.  So here it is the truth

I haven't been trying and as a result I have gained back all that hard fought weight loss from Mamavation.  It is so depressing to admit that....but I need to.  By saying it outloud (or online) it helps me accept responsibility for what I have done (or not done).  

I am not entirely adrift.  I signed up for a beachbody challenge and got some kick ass new videos that I have been doing and as of this week I am back on track with my tracking my food and working out.  Its hard, and it sucks, but I am doing it.  I also joined a challenge with my Mamavation Girl Melissa over at My Two Miracles and that is helping too.

As we know weight loss and getting healthy takes a lot of time, effort, and mental energy-something that I have been lacking.  I just realized this weekend while huffing my ass in a 5k....if I can do that I can get over this funk I have been in about work and deal.  So get ready bloggy friends there will be venting on here.  I find that I have been keeping a lot inside and not discussing in fear of sounding negative, but then I realized something.....hello this is my blog!  I started this as my place.  I also realized that the reason I am so stagnant is because I am do busy feeling crappy instead of processing and moving on.

So there it is-the truth.  It may be ugly but it is needed!
So I feel bad about my neglected little blog....how I have missed it. I wish I could say that things are less crazy they aren't.  The discussion at school has been how our stress level is currently at the level it is at the end of the school when we can just suck up the ridiculousness because summer vacation is two weeks away.  It is not good people.  We have had people who have quit and left for other schools in the first month, teachers crying, and others stressed to the breaking point.  I am trying to just keep my head down, not get to sucked into the drama, and know in my heart I am doing good things in my classroom.

One highlight of the last few weeks is that after weeks of worrying if I am doing an ok job helping and meeting the needs of my many special education students the special ed teacher in my room said to me "You know I wouldn't just say this....but you are doing amazing things with the kids....not just my kids (the special education ones) but all of them.  You have a way with them and are getting through to them"  I started to cry.  All I want to do is teach my students, push them as hard as I can, and make them better citizens who know a little bit more about history when they leave.  I don't give a shit about state tests, or new teacher evaluation programs, or any other thing that you will measure my performance by.  I just want to teach...not all this other stuff.  Ok done ranting.  Sorry peeeps this is my place to let it all out.

So weight loss fitness etc update.  I have been plugging away with my running still.  My race that I hope to run the whole thing is two weeks away.  I don't think I will be able to run the whole thing but I should be close to it and that is going to have to be good enough.  I also signed up with a beach body coach and am doing t25 (sort of PX90 mini sessions) to try and get my ass back in gear.

How is life for everyone else going?  What is new in the bloggy world?