So the past few weeks have been crazy as you can tell by my posts.  I have started to feel like I am locking down my family.  That more often than not I am enjoying being home with the kids and Papa Hunt.  Doing family stuff.  Although we have had social things to go to they are stressful. Stressful for D who because of his anxiety it causes him to get overwhelmed after social situations.  Also, if Papa Hunt is having an off day (thankfully those are getting less and less and we are seeing a bright light at the end of this depression tunnel) it is hard for him to be on for other people.  I am a social butterfly but lately I have just wanted to be home.  I went out on Friday night with friends from work, laughed so hard I almost peed my pants, but in the end I missed my family.  This not wanting to be out and social is weird for me.  I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea like I am depressed and locking myself away (I did that the first time Papa Hunt had a bout with depression and it wasn't good) it is more like nesting.  Like i am trying to take care of my family, to heal them, make them whole again.  A wise woman in my life said its not lock down it is you creating a sanctuary for your family.  You are doing exactly what your kids needs, for you to be there for them.  She then said something that shocked me....she said you are growing up.  It feels weird because you are not used to it, but this is grown up life.  You spend your time with your family and love it rather than with a social circle.  That hit me....that is exactly it.  I am choosing to forgo doing social things or me things because I want to be with them, not because I have to.  I think this somehow makes it sound like I hated spending time with my family prior to this, but that is not true, but I would desperately miss my pre-kid social time with friends or just by myself.  Yet, lately I find I am not missing it and that I just want to do the mom and wife thing.  So maybe now at almost 32 I am growing up!! Imagine that.
So there is something I have been thinking about for awhile and I don't really talk about it much.  I have been thinking about becoming a vegetarian (well because I can't eat dairy) I would really be a vegan.  The only reason I haven't done so thus far is the family.  They are hard core meat eaters.  There is no way that as the cook of this family I could stop cooking meat.  

So let me start by saying that this does not come from a place of me not liking meat (because for damn sure I love me a burger) but I have recently watched the documentary Food Inc and it really moved me to realize where my food is coming from.  Yet, again the issue is the family.  So I have been thinking that over the course of the next f ew months I am going to slowly eliminate meat from my diet.  I will cook for my family and eat meat a few times a week.  Introducing more vegetarian cooking to them.  I figure I will see how that goes, see if I am satisfied with what I am eating (I need to be satisfied otherwise I will start to think about binge eating).  Then begin to cut out more and more meat.

I also have decided to stop blindly buying my meat where it is cheapest.  Papa Hunt and I decided that we would begin buying our meat from a local butcher who raises his own meat that way we know where our meat comes from not some big corporation.  

This whole thought process is different for me because usually I do stuff to loose weight (which this is not that) or as a fad diet to loose weight.  I have thought of people who were vegan as crazy, but now that I am doing more reading on clean eating, and what to eat, and when to keep my energy up.  I realize that a lot of the foods I love are not good for my body are not good for our world.  Now those of you who know me in real life please don't think I am going to be a militant person about this trying to convert all of you.  As I said this may not work for me and I am not totally giving up meat, yet.  I also think if I am being honest about my health I will still eat eggs.  So basically I am totally making up my whole own weird eating plan!!  

So what are your thoughts?  Are some of you vegetarians? Vegans?  Hard Core meat eaters?  I would love to hear what you think?
Just wanted to put down a quick post saying that I am still here.  Despite the crazy thing that is my life i Have been hanging in weight wise.  I have lost about two and half pounds in three weeks not a lot but I will take it!  Also things with my dad are at a stand still, nothing major needs to be done right now about his heart but he still needs to see a specialist to make sure he won't need surgery.  Work is going well we are in exams which is a nice break because we have half days but that also brings the grading of these exams which is a bummer.  So hence the short post.  I am off to grade.  Hopefully I will begin to post a bit more regularly starting next week.  I have been reading and can't wait to post a few reviews of some of the books that I have read lately. I hope this finds the rest of the bloggy world well!!
Ok so warning this is a total pity party post but I figured I should do it and get it out of my system. Also, a wee bit of TMI depending on your outlook.  So as I have mentioned before things around our house are crazy and that really hasn't changed.  Two weeks ago I found a lump....tried not to panic because from nursing two kids or a year each the girls shall we say are not as smooth and perfect as they used to be.  So I went to the Dr and come to find out apparently is the birth control I am on that is sending my system out of whack so she suggested an IUD (which if it works correctly I may not have a certain visitor for the next five years.  So I am lucky enough to schedule this for Monday which I have off.  Well the Dr was delivery two sets of twins and was running two hours late, oh well what can you do.  So I go in get this done and lets just say it was a wee bit more painful than the Dr indicated but no big deal....well at least I though so until I was scheduling my follow up appointment and started to pass out.  So here I am in the waiting room slumped in a chair and had to be helped by the Dr back to the exam room to sit for the next hour.  Apparently, this is normal just most women do it right after its put in not ten minutes later.  So I finally get home and am resting because the light cramping that the "educational pamphlet" mentioned wasn't light it was more like hey I remember cramps like this...I was in labor.  So I finally fall asleep and the phone rings and its my dad.  He is calling with bad news.  Apparently the heart murmur he has always had may be turning into something serious.  Something with his Aorta.  So although I am desperately trying to not freak out (I am the queen of unnecessary freak out) I am barely holding it together.  So not only am I a hot crampy mess, not I am trying not to think about this thing with my dad.  So I am home today with the kids because my dad has to have some tests done and am trying to get my mind centered and calm.  I have tons and tons of school work that is backing up because things have been crazy at home and my senior grades are due by Friday for the semester.  Oh yeah and I have to make up an final exam by Friday too.  I am trying not to sit in the corner in cry, although I did have a cry fest with the hubby and told him I am just so pissed because all I want to do is eat cupcakes and ho-hos, and Cheetos till I feel better.  Which I know won't make me feel better but I still want to.  I am going to try and get to the gym today with the kids or perhaps tomorrow we shall see.  OK I feel a bit better now that I had my pity party. Thanks for bearing with me!
Ok-I am the world's luckiest mom-I get author's sending me great children's books to review.  I was chosen to review a sweet girly book called Gracie's Gift by Andrea Trosclair.  It is about a young girl who does not want to wear a bow in her hair.  Then her mother explains why she loves for her daughter to wear a bow-because it is her way of thanking God for her special baby girl.  Of course I get all misty reading this book but for two reasons.  As a mom we all know how important it is for our children to know we love them and what better way then a daily reminder about love.  Second, my baby J will not wear anything in her hair (well provided you aren't counting food because she always has food in her hair).  This is a really sweet book and best of all a portion of all the books sold goes to the MS Association of America (a disease that the author suffers from herself).  I really loved this book and so did both of my kids (even my son loved it and wanted to know why boys didn't get to wear bows).  So please go check out the authors website at www.trosclairtales.com or stop by amazon to pick up a copy of Gracie's Gift
12 Goals for 2012-The Status

As of January 4, 2012
***All updates are noted in Red

1.  No Soda Except on my Birthday- 4/4
2. Eat Dairy free-My stomach has been awful this week because I haven't been
3. Scrapbook Josie's first 12 Months 0/12
4. Finish Dylan's first 12 Months scrapbook (he is almost five and all) 9/12 (slight cheating since I was on 9 when I made this goal)
5. Exercise 3 times a week (166 Times this year) 0/166
6. Read 30 books 0/30
7. Make 12 projects with my grandma's group on Facebook (not that I am a grandma but we do grandma type projects)  0/12
8. Make an effort to connect with those people I care about.  Call, Email, or write a good friend once a week (52 times this year) 0/52
9. Make 100 posts this year on my blog 2/100
10. Spend more time being present with my kids-Be in the moment with them put down the phone 
11.  Finish at least four more graduate courses to bring me closer to maxing out on the salary scale at my job 0/4
12. Be kind to myself-No negative nasty voice in the back of my head

So we all know making resolutions is fun-But shit its hard to keep up with it!!!  I rejoined weight watchers and realized just how much I have been eating.  Its amazing I only gained four pounds in the last two months-Yikes I could have done some serious damage.  The eating well thing has been tough for no other reason then when you eat junk for a long time you miss it when you don't.  No other reason than that!  Also, now that I am back at work finding time for projects, the gym, and calling people is a tough tall order.  Yet, I am up for it.  Maybe not the Gym this week (I am the person who doesn't want to go to the gym because it is crowded with everyone swearing they will go to the gym!  I am working away on finishing a scarf for my nephew for Christmas (we are celebrating this weekend) he lost the one I made last Christmas and was so sad so I am making one to match the Bruins hat I got him for Christmas.  I bought yarn to start a new scarf for myself and hope to get to that starting this weekend.  How is everyone else doing on their New Years Resolutions?  I hope you are all hanging in there too!
So the final verdict-I would still say that I am exceptionally lucky for having been asked to sample all of the great food provided to me by Bistro MD.  Overall I thought that the quality of the food was amazing and that for the most part the taste was wonderful.  There were those few meals that I didn't care for but if I had been in charge of my own food selection I would have never chosen those meal selections.  In my perfect world I would love to do Bistro MD for my lunches and breakfasts but still would enjoy cooking my own dinners.  Not only because it was hard to figure out what to have my kids eat, but also I love to cook.  I don't know if I could eat all three meals a day for seven days a week.  I do have to say thought it did help me to realize what was a healthy portion (especially of grains and proteins).  Overall I think that Bistro MD would be a great fit for someone who is single or more importantly someone who eats out a lot and doesn't cook.  This would be a much better alternative to skipping meals or trying to figure what to eat out.  Again I want to thank the wonderful people at Bistro MD for allowing me to try all of their tasty foods.  Such a wonderful opportunity, thank you again.