Heroines With Heart 2013 Book Tour
Earlier this month I was asked to take part in a book review group called Heroines with Heart.  I really liked the concept of a large group of new writers using bloggers like myself to promote their new books. A lot of the authors are YA authors which is a genre I haven't exactly delved into yet, so I figured this would be an amazing opportunity.  So for my first selection I chose to review Confessions of a Teenage Hermaphrodite by Lianne Simon.  Now I a sure some of my readers are like "what, what now".  I was too but one of the subjects I teach in Psychology is all about intersexed conditions.  I am absolutely fascinated by the subject so I figured this would be a fun YA read.  It was, I finished the book in only two weeks while reading only on my computer (the only downside is a lot of books are PDF files not kindle set up).  I thought it was absolutely fascinating.  The main character Jamie/Jameson was so well written that you felt were right there experiencing the story with him/her.  The story takes through Jameson dealing with the fact that he has wanted to be a boy, yet seemingly his parents have wanted him to be a girl.  It is a great story of self discovery and a look into the emotional roller coaster that is the life of a teenager who is born intersexed.  The only aspect of the story that I really enjoyed was the time period.  It was set in the Vietnam era which added a who other dimension to the story.  The acceptance of some and the complete rejection of others of his condition (sadly I would say today's society isn't much different).  The only thing that I did not like about the book, was that I wanted more. Some of the story lines and characters were not developed as much as I would have liked.  Now the book was only 200 pages and YA so this may be why those characters and story lines were not developed in more detail.  In fact, I felt that the book ended way to quickly and I was wanting more details about the end few scenes of the book.  Now again, I don't think this is a fatal flaw of the book, just that I wished Simon had developed some of the story lines a bit more.  Then again if she had done that it might not be as appealing to a YA audience.  As I said at the beginning I am not that well versed in YA literature so maybe this is something that happens some story lines get more of a background then they would in a "regular" book.  Overall I thought this was a very interesting read and well worth the time.  I would give it 3 1/2 stars.
Whoa I can't believe this is my fourth week already.  This has been one hell of a week.  Early in the week Kid 2 was gross, then Kid 1 got pink eye.  So bad that he missed four-YES FOUR days of school.  I am in mid term exams so in between giving exams I had to figure out who would watch the kid, get him to the doctor and then correct said exams.  On top of that the next semester starts tomorrow and I am teaching a class I have never taught before and it is an honors class so I need to be very well prepared.  Add to that I got sick on Friday.

Overall I did ok, being a stress eater I tried to eat as best as I could regardless of the chaos.  There were two days in particular that I ate why more than I should of and ate things that were not ideal choices for no other reason than I was stressed.  I have put an end to that am washing my hands and moving on.

On a good note-despite all that I worked out twice.  My goal was three times and a trip to the gym.  With the sick kids I couldn't use the daycare so I got in two at home before I got sick.  I also got an exciting package in the mail-My TAE BO SYSTEM!!!! When I lost all my weight years ago I did it a lot of my exercising with Billy Blanks so I am excited to start that this week.  There is a four week program in the box and I think I am going to try it.  Why the hell not the longest tape is an hour.  I figure I deserve to kick my own ass into gear.

How is everyone's week going.  I hope next week my post will be about my and my Billy Blanks bonding!

Happy Monday All!!!

Ok so I figured I needed to spice up the blog a bit and not just do whiny bitching posts.  So other than reading another love of my me time life is painting my nails  If this was a different life I would have the money and time to go get my nails done every two weeks but since I don't I settle for painting my nails on my own.  Below you will see a preview of Mariah Carey's new collect of the sand polish.  This stuff is so cool.  It goes on shiny and then dries to a matte finish.  This one was a dark black base with red sparkles....amazing.  This picture doesn't even do it justice.  I know 8 bucks a bottle is a lot to spend on something so why not try the mini's.  I got spoiled and a friend of mine bought the mini pack and I got to try it.  May have to go back and get the big bottle soon though.  My only complaint, and it is the one I usually have-It chips a bit more easy that a regular polish because it is so thick. Plus because of the Matte finish you don't do a top coat.  Oh and I forgot the best part, wet to completely dry is 10min!  No lie once it gets matte you are good to go.  I would say on a polish rating of five fingers being the best I would go with a four finger rating

Ok so you would think I would learn by now.  Eating like shit makes me feel like shit physically and emotionally.  Yet, I don't.  Today I stepped on the scale and had a bit of a moment.  I have been off the rails with eating crap since Sunday.  I will say I have tracked everything I have ate despite that it is ugly.  Yet, I know if I want to loose weight I really have to stick with my weight watchers points and work out.  I sometimes think I am secretly a three year old who is throwing a tantrum.  I don't want to deal with this so I am going to stomp my feet and throw a tantrum.  I don't want to worry about what I eat, I want to magically be healthy with no effort and when it doesn't happen I am pouting.  I also think I have been so focused the past year or so on getting my mind healthy that I haven't thought about loosing weight.  I needed to do that, but now I need to get on to the loosing.  I know its going to be hard and I am being three and don't want to.  I know I need to make the effort and I know it will be worth it.  I just need to grow the hell up.  I feel like I have said this before and  I am sure I have.  Then again maybe that is why they call this thing a damn journey.....because it is.  I just need to remember to stick with it and it will be worth it.  As like most things in my life hard work and dedication has brought me some of the greatest joys in my life.  My job, my marriage, my children....they are all hard fucking work (anyone who says teaching, parenthood, or marriage isn't hard work is either lying or single, childless, and works a 9-5 desk job).  Why would I think getting healthy would be easy!  So just like my job, my family, and my marriage, this is worth the effort.  Someone please bitch slap me and remind me of this next time I start getting ready to throw a tantrum
Ok all this is going to be a fairly short post because as a teacher and a mom I am home today with the kids.  I will post later this week about getting out of my comfort zone with my kids.  This week was ok.  I had a really crappy day but managed to get in a work out which was a huge success because the hubs started back at school.  My eating wasn't great (I did track it all which was a big deal) I maintained this week so I will take it.  My goal is the same as last week up my water in take, continue to track, and three workouts.  My plan right now is a video workout tomorrow, a trip to the gym possibly Friday, and a tape workout on Wednesday or Thursday.  I wish I could get to the gym-I love it and it has daycare but I can only go on days when I have dinner prepared before I go because the kids go to bed early and the homework for my older on is done ahead of time.  I hope if you have today off you are enjoying it!
Ok so if you aren't ready for one of those whiny posts, please feel free to skip right along!

So my youngest has been getting up a lot at night, so for two nights in a row I have gotten minimal sleep which I am ok with just makes me cranky....like PMS cranky but manageable.  Well it was icy this am so I am trying to get out of the house this am and its one of those mornings when everything is not working, I can't find a matching pair of socks, the kids are extra demanding, and despite trying to leave early I leave late.  The hubs had to remind me to settle down and it would be ok.  So I took some deep breaths and figured it is only up from here and went on my am.

Things were going great (except I couldn't find a working copier but in my school that is everyday stuff not bad day stuff).  So I check in with my mentee to be sure she is ok to enter grades and get ready for exams and I head back to my room and there is my boss-She was there to inform me that she had "some concerns" about me and we had to have an emergency meeting.  I won't go into many details but I knew it involved a volunteer position that I hold in my department where I bring forward concerns of others to the principal monthly.  So awesome now I am going to have a meeting and get reprimanded for something sweet, so I call my union rep and try and not freak the f out about it.  I am a good girl and panic at the thought that I have done something wrong.  Then my dad calls my kids bus never showed up so I need to call and figure that out.  A few hours later I go to my super special meeting with the boss (although an ugly meeting it ended well) but who likes getting yelled at for something they didn't do.  Then the hubs isn't returning my calls so I need leave students who are staying after school to run to the daycare to pick up the youngest so I can make it to get the oldest off the bus.  Hubs of course calls two minutes after I pull out of school to say he can get kid...grrr

So now I am home only up from here...the quick list.  The dog pissed in his crate, drank so much water after getting out of the crate he pissed on the floor while I was doing yoga (oh yeah the kid kicked me in the head wile doing yoga with me), the hubs is pissed about the dog who is having issues with peeing in the house and wants to get rid of him, and while packing the oldest's bag for school he didn't give the teacher the snack he was required to bring in as it was his snack day.

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!  This days needs to get kicked in the balls and go the hell away.  Sorry for the ranting and swearing....but seriously, so not my day.  The worst part as of 7 I still have stacks of grading, need to shower, and figure out what the hell to do about the dog.


Ok now I am done......thanks for letting me vent people.  How was your day???

PS-On a good note-I did exercise!

PPS-Since I started this post the youngest work up and puked....awesome
Mamavation Sistahood Ok so let me say again how sweet it is to be part of this group. I can't wait until my life at work calms down a bit and I can be a bit more active in all the group has to offer.  I am excited to go home later and look at the finalist videos!  How wonderful for them.  So my weekly recap.  This week was good food wise.  As I stated in my last post it is shocking what happens when I actually follow weight watchers....I loose weight.  Its when I play games and refuse to track that bad things and the scale happen.  This week at my home weight in I lost 1.5 pounds which for me is a really good loss and I will take it.  It was a huge success to track every day last week. 

My challenge and goals for the upcoming week are around fitness.  I just can't seem to get my butt in gear to work out at night after the kids are in bed or take them to gym.  A lot of this has been the time of year.  For those who don't know me I am a high school teachers.  At the end of the semester the grading gets crazy as do my students.  I teach mainly seniors some in graduation requirement classes which means its make it or break it time.  Now is when kids stay after, now is when they turn in work, now is when their parents call me talk about their progress.  It makes it hard to carve out that time and it also leads to a lot of mindless eating.  So my goal for the week is this...get my water in which I have made some progress in I am drinking a cup of tea at my desk now instead of coffee and try and get in three workouts before my next Monday post.  How are all the Mamavation sisters doing their journey?  How are my regular reading doing?
So I can't remember if I talked about this on the blog or not but I signed up for weight watchers again.  Now that I have really gotten some of my eating issues under control I figured it was time to start working again to try and loose some of this extra weight I have been schlepping around for awhile (hell forever).  So I started back right before Christmas sort of half assing it. Well since New Years I have been faithfully tracking.  Due to the flu, I was sort of plan because I wasn't eating for a few days but in a mere two weeks I have lost three pounds.  Shocking what happens when you actually follow the plan...it works.  A friggin revelation.   Seriously, sometimes I get mad at myself.  I drag my feet.  I pout and stomp because I don't want to do it.  Yet, what happens when I follow the plan.....I loose weight!  Shocking!  Maybe I need to start shutting up and putting up.  Guess I am back in this whole weight loss thing.   I will keep you updated on how this whole thing rolls out.  Yet, so far so good.
Indiscretion: A Novel A few weeks ago I finished up Indiscretion by Charles Dubow and have not had the time to write a review that would do it justice.  Although I initially had a bit of tough time getting into the book by page 25 I was hooked.  Although this book could simply described as a love story, it is more than that.  This is a story of love, loss, and how sometimes the strongest loves in our life are not returned in the capacity that we love someone.  The story is told by Walter Gervais who is a dear friend of the main couple in the story.  It appears from early on that he is simply and auxiliary character in the book, yet as the book evolves the book tells his love story as well.  With a book like this I find it very hard to describe too much of the plot line without giving away the story so here is my basic summary of the story.  The main characters are Harry and Madeline Winslow they are best friends with Walter.  They take into the fold a young woman named Claire.  Claire and Harry are clearly destined for a love affair that rocks the world of everyone involved in so many faceted ways.

Now why I loved this book so much
    1. You think that this book is about the love story of Harry and Maddy and the betrayal of Claire     (hello the name of the book is Indiscretion).  Yet, for me the book was not about that love story but of the love story of Walter for his best Friend Maddy.  It wasn't until I was done and reflecting on the book that I realized this book is as much about their love as everyone else in the love triangle.

    2.  The character work is amazing.  It isn't often in a book about infidelity that you find your self attached and caring for and liking all of the characters even the ones involved in the affair.  The characters are written in such a way that you connect with each of them individually.  I found that my heart was breaking for Clair when she couldn't have her married man and hating her at the same time for hurting her lover's wife.  Not often are you rooting for everyone in the story.

I don't think I can tell much more without giving away too many details, but this is a must read.  One of the best review copies I have received and I have received some really good ones lately.  I am definitely giving this 5 out of 5 stars.
Mamavation SistahoodA long time ago I signed up for the Mamavation moms email and never really followed along much.  Mainly because I have been ignoring my weight loss journey and my blog for that matter in favor of getting my head on straight in terms of my anxiety and eating issues.  Well having been sick for a few days has given me the luxury of time poking around on the Internet and I spent some time checking out the Mamavation site and I loved it.  The idea of this is that Mom's just simple do not take time for themselves.  They don't period.  So as a mom I need to look at my health as for my family not just me and I love that idea.  All moms would give anything for their kids why shouldn't they give their kids a healthy mom-so that is what I am doing.  I am really trying to get myself to a healthy spot. I am doing OK with my emotional eating now I just need to get the other ducks in line.  My goals for this upcoming week are to track my food everyday and work out at least three times either here at the house and at the gym.  I also want to set aside time each night to journal, blog, and focus on my mental health with my "online world".  I know that this helps me and I have been opting out of that in favor of stupid stuff.  I need to get my focus to where it needs to be....on my kiddos and a healthy mommy for them.  So I am very excited to become part of this sistahood!!!!!
So another day that I am home sick and not eating well.  There is not much to blog about in this regards other than that I am going to be a skinny b when this illness is over.  My issue has been missing work.  I love my job and I love my kids and I always worry about missing work, I have missed a lot of work because of my own illnesses as well as my kids.  I know that they are OK without me and that I need to take care of myself but it is hard to take time off from work.  As I have spent many hours sleeping, blogging, reading, at catching up on my doctor Phil I have realized just how run down I was.  Between getting ready for the holidays, the tragedy at Newtown, and overload at work I was emotionally depleted.  Then over vacation both the kids and my hubby were sick which meant I was a one woman show at home and was getting up between four and six times a night to deal with the kids.  I was exhausted to say the least.  If I am being honest I know I have a stomach bug but I think the reason it has hit me so hard is because I was so run down, not eating well, and not exercising.  This needs to change because I need to take care of myself so I can take care of others.  So today I probably could have slugged my way through the day but I took the day to get well, get some much need rest and puppy snuggles.  As I am typing there is a dog on each side of me while I am tapping way on my laptop.  I am hoping that this post finds all of you well and taking some time for yourselves.  

Last night I had to go to the doctor.  I felt just off on Tuesday and I thought it was just the stress of going back to work after an extended vacation.  Then I started having random sweating and hot flashes.  Then on the way out of the house I was so hungry I snagged a munchkin and by the time I got to school my stomach pains were so bad I was nervous.  So I called the Dr and made an appointment and throughout the day I realized that these were the symptoms that go with the stomach bug that is working its way through every household and school here in CT.  I am a complete pussy (excuse the language) when it comes to being sick to my stomach, I can't handle it because I have a ridiculous fear of throwing up.  Any who while at the doctor getting some medicine for the nausea and she comes in and says hello Mrs. Hunt how are you.....my reply is the standard one I always give...I am good how are you.  HELLO I wasn't good I had horrific stomach pains and was on the verge of dry heaving right there in the room.  I know that years and years of giving this response it is automatic, it is the polite thing to do.  Yet why would I always do it when its not the case.  Why do I always err on the side of being polite and doing the nice thing rather than saying what I really feel.  I was sick, sicker than I have been in a long time.  This moment makes me realize that I have made a lot of progress in being a more authentic self but there are moments where I sort of do things from habit rather than with true thought.  Lets be honest, what is the harm in someone, not just me but anyone being truthful when they are having a bad day.  I think that maybe everyone needs to be a bit more truthful-I think I would like those who are around me (especially my friends and family) I would love for them to be truthful.  Let me know when they are not OK so I can be an extra support, check in on them, and wish them well.  Yet, I know more people are like me who are so tuned into acting a certain way and fear sounded like a negative Nelly that they give this fake response.  Maybe this is something for me to work on during this new year.

I don't know how many of you love a fresh start but I sure do.  This is why I love the start of your school year and the new year so much.  One of my favorite parts of the new year other than making resolutions (which most times I don't keep) is a new planner.  Last year I saw one of my blog and twitter peeps Emily was talking about this new planner she got.  It was beautiful, stunning in fact.  So I of course go immediately online to look it up and the damn thing was 50 bucks.  50 bucks for a damn planner-I have an IPhone I don't need this I said.  Then Emily did a Vlog about the planner and I knew I needed it.  I ordered it and loved it and got every single penny worth for my planner.  So this photo above is my new planner for 2013 and for most of the week I have been slowly adding to the planner and loading it up with all the life stuff a mom has to keep track of.  I know my phone can do all the things that this planner can but to be honest there is something about having a pen and paper planner that I love.  Don't be confused this isn't a product review this is just my geeky love for the Erin Conden planner-Here is the link should you want to look at one too!
Although I know that I didn't achieve any of my weight loss goals or reading goals I did a lot personally and professionally.  I was able to finally get a handle on my eating issues and spent a year maintaining my weight and not obessessing about a number on teh scale-I spent most of hte year just being.  I also spent a lot of the year evaluating my life and learning that where I am in the moment is just perfect.  Also, through both a national tragedy that was a bit too close to home and family tragedy within Papa Hunt's extended family I realized that just getting to be with my family and being healthy mentally really is a greater acheivement then the goals I set for myself a year ago in Jan of 2012.  

Now on to 2013-I know I should use SMART (goals that can be measured by specific data) but I am going to do more general goals because well they stress me out less.

2013 Goals
1.  Use/Manage my time better.  Less multi tasking and social media in favor of getting my life and health in order

2.  Be more consistent with my working out.  Shooting for 3 times a week until summer then try and increase that

3.  Get under the weight I was when I had my cute babies

4.  Then get under my magic number (the weight that is very hard for me to get under without a lot of effort

5.  Run a 5k (hopefully a zombie one or the christmas lights one in MA)

6.  Believe in myself enough that I can actually do the above items.

I hope that even with the ups and downs that you all had a great 2012 and I look forward to hearing about all of your 2013 goals.