Ok so you would think I would learn by now.  Eating like shit makes me feel like shit physically and emotionally.  Yet, I don't.  Today I stepped on the scale and had a bit of a moment.  I have been off the rails with eating crap since Sunday.  I will say I have tracked everything I have ate despite that it is ugly.  Yet, I know if I want to loose weight I really have to stick with my weight watchers points and work out.  I sometimes think I am secretly a three year old who is throwing a tantrum.  I don't want to deal with this so I am going to stomp my feet and throw a tantrum.  I don't want to worry about what I eat, I want to magically be healthy with no effort and when it doesn't happen I am pouting.  I also think I have been so focused the past year or so on getting my mind healthy that I haven't thought about loosing weight.  I needed to do that, but now I need to get on to the loosing.  I know its going to be hard and I am being three and don't want to.  I know I need to make the effort and I know it will be worth it.  I just need to grow the hell up.  I feel like I have said this before and  I am sure I have.  Then again maybe that is why they call this thing a damn journey.....because it is.  I just need to remember to stick with it and it will be worth it.  As like most things in my life hard work and dedication has brought me some of the greatest joys in my life.  My job, my marriage, my children....they are all hard fucking work (anyone who says teaching, parenthood, or marriage isn't hard work is either lying or single, childless, and works a 9-5 desk job).  Why would I think getting healthy would be easy!  So just like my job, my family, and my marriage, this is worth the effort.  Someone please bitch slap me and remind me of this next time I start getting ready to throw a tantrum
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