So as I am trying to really work the fitness aspect of my journey-I know that I really need to eat better and when I eat better I feel better.  For me that means very low carbs but still good hearty food.  This year I have had an over abundance of zucchini in my garden and sometimes the plants get crazy.  Since I had a few larger zucchinis I decided to make Mexican Stuffed Zucchini boats based on a this recipe from Skinny Taste.  

Ingredient List

-2 Pounds Ground meat (I used half grass feed beef and half ground turkey)

-Two 14oz cans of tomatoes

-Chopped peppers-I used what I had left in my fridge-about 1 cup

-One package of mushrooms

-Chili Powder, Cumin, Fresh Garlic or Garlic Garlic 

-Jar of Salsa of your choice

-One cup of Shredded Cheese of my Choice

-Zucchini for stuffing-for me that was the giant one from the garden

Step One-Brown the Meat.  I chose not to drain mine because there was not a lot of fat in the beef I was using.

Step Four:  While the veggies are cooking down-Cut the zucchini in half and scoop out the insides.  Personally I just take those insides and add them back into the pot.  With the giant ones from the garden the seeds are fairly large so I just scoop and toss.  With smaller ones I just use the insides.  

Step Seven-Bake the Zucchini until the boats are tender and cheese is good and melty 

Hope you like this recipe-for me its a good family recipe that is low in carbs and easy to whip up on a weeknight!

Then the finished product!!!

So I will be a bit vague here but for the last day or so I am in cycle of reoccuring feelings and they aren't good or healthy.  I have a deep desire in my heart and being for certain relationships in my life to be different then they are.  This is something that I have struggled with for years.  As an only child and someone who really thrives and gets a lot out of her personal relationships I am very dependent on others-and its not a good thing to tell you the truth.  I have a few relationships in my life-some friendships some familial that I wish were different then they are.  Growing up I had a picture in my head of what my adult friendships and family life would look like and things are very different then that now.  Most times I just realize that I had unrealisitc expectations for those relationships even before they began---almost in the same way I had these idealized versions of marriage and motherhood.  Most times I just tell myself to deal and move on. Other times that longing for something that will never be rests in my heart.  

For me I felt that creeping in lately.  Maybe it was the passing of my grandmother last week (I may post about that later if and when I am ready) and seeing how my dad's brothers struggle to get along that I started to realize that adult relationships are hard.  Familial relationships are hard.  For me as an only child I have always wanted these deep connections to others because I felt that I missed them being an only child and also not having a ton of family because my mom was also an only child.  I think that for me that set me up for failure.  This wanting deep connected relationships with family in particular that I don't really have.  This is in no way suggesting that I am having issues in my family or with my friends--its just I sometimes wish I was closer with some of my family and friends but I don't think those relationships are really meant to be.   I feel that sometimes I try and force a connection that isn't there or get upset when I feel people don't return my "love".  I take things very personally I always have.  What I think I need to focus on is what I do have rather than what I don't have.  I think for me the loss of my dad and then my gram this week has made me realize that I don't really have a lot of these deep connections with family or friends.  Don't get me wrong I do have some great family and some amazing close friends who are like family-but I think I am noticing or wishing there were more.  Perhaps the focus should be on continuing to deepen connections I want and to focus my attention on the good relationships I do have.  I have to realize that some things are out of my control and what I can control is my emotional response to things.  Ok-Ramble done-I just needed to process a bit of this.  

Happy Summer All!!  Ironically its only three weeks into summer and I am getting around to posting this.   As you know I am a teacher so that means I go from teacher to being a stay at home mom.  I always have visions of grander with summer.  I am going to loose 100 pounds and reinvent my life.  This year my goal was a bit simpler it was to enjoy the time with my kids and get my house deep cleaned.  I wanted to do all that little stuff around the house that I never have time to do.  Sadly three weeks into the summer and I am already behind.  I feel bad about this but then I remember that its summer-That I should use this time to not only recharge me but recharge the family.  The kids love to go to the pool every day so we do that most days.  There are tons of day trips I would have loved to take them on but a lot of the time they just love hanging out at home and going to the pool.  I am hoping to take some time daily to do things for me-but I have been struggling with that.  Now that its all me all the time with the kids-not a lot of stuff for me gets done.  I am still working out daily which I am super proud of.  So here is hoping to make good use of my remaining five weeks!  What are all of your summer plans?