Showing posts with label Summer Vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Summer Vacation. Show all posts

Happy Summer All!!  Ironically its only three weeks into summer and I am getting around to posting this.   As you know I am a teacher so that means I go from teacher to being a stay at home mom.  I always have visions of grander with summer.  I am going to loose 100 pounds and reinvent my life.  This year my goal was a bit simpler it was to enjoy the time with my kids and get my house deep cleaned.  I wanted to do all that little stuff around the house that I never have time to do.  Sadly three weeks into the summer and I am already behind.  I feel bad about this but then I remember that its summer-That I should use this time to not only recharge me but recharge the family.  The kids love to go to the pool every day so we do that most days.  There are tons of day trips I would have loved to take them on but a lot of the time they just love hanging out at home and going to the pool.  I am hoping to take some time daily to do things for me-but I have been struggling with that.  Now that its all me all the time with the kids-not a lot of stuff for me gets done.  I am still working out daily which I am super proud of.  So here is hoping to make good use of my remaining five weeks!  What are all of your summer plans?

So despite my love of organizers, planners, and lists-I am often easily overwhelmed and scattered.  This summer I have really begun to notice this more.  I make lists of the things that I need to accomplish and the things that I want to do-yet somehow.....Most of them don't get done.  
I often forget things I wanted to do and find myself doing other things.  As much as I would love to blame this on all the small people that live in my house....I think its me.  My lists are fine, my ability to do those things is fine, I just get distracted.  

Most often that distraction comes at the hands of my phone. Sometimes it comes in my desire to relax and kick back over the summer.  Sometimes it comes from getting-started-itis.  That is totally a thing.  I am a person that once I start something I can often get it done quickly and well-but getting started is hard.  No like I am the person that takes 10 minutes to pick out nail polish because actually putting on my nails isn't hard....its the starting.  I have a hard time starting coloring pages...why because its getting-started-itis.  

I think this summer I have a few things on my list that are "scary" or "emotional" and that is why I put them off.  Organizing and paying the bills stresses me out.  I want to make Josie's baby book but I know seeing pictures of her as a baby-especially with my dad will be hard for me.  I want to start sewing projects but sewing is new to me and hard so I am worried I am going to mess it up.  So like I said-Getting-started-itis.  

Even blogging and writing is like that for me....I want to write.  I have lots that I need to get out of my brain so I can think better.  Yet, sitting down to type is a whole new ball game....Once I start I am good.  Clearly anyone who reads this can see that I don't have issue with saying things!!

So what about all of you?  Do you have this issue?  Any tips for organizing?  For getting ahead?  Maybe I need to put my damn phone down and just get to it!


So as I mentioned in my previous post a few months ago I crossed something off my bucket list.  I took a sewing class.  Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to sew-my mom and grandmother couldn't.  When I did the 4-H fair as a child a great aunt helped me.  As I have gotten older I have loved quilts.  I love the colors, the fabrics, all of it.  When my dad died I even had a friend of Ryan's make quilts for the kids because I didn't know how but I wanted to.

So around my birthday I signed up for an intro to sewing class.  We learned some basic sticking and cutting.  Then when I got home I started looking up some simple patterns and I found this pattern for a cute easy to make headband. It was great because it came with step by step instructions on what to do.  I also found one for a doll dress that I made for Josie and her new American Girl doll.    I was so proud of these things.  It was something I wanted to do, I set my mind to it, I went and I did it.

I have found over the years that as a Mom and wife I have neglected to spend time on me.  I don't mean in that selfish I am going to be all about me-but in a way of bettering myself.  Lets be real knowing to sew doesn't serve a huge purpose other than I like to do it...but in a way that is good enough.  Something that mom likes to do and enjoys.  Below are pictures of my first few items I made!  The only issue with this sewing thing is that I am no instantly fabric obsessed and need to buy all the fabric.  Below you will see some of my recent purchases!
My headband....which now that I cute off all my hair doesn't look as cute! 

Doll Dress

Dog print!!! I need to make something special with these!!

More fun prints-I made Dylan a little coin purse with the dinos and the stars and crabs will be a bucket purse I am attempting to make into bag.  

What are the things that you have been wanting to do?  Is there something that you have done for yourself recently.  I would love to hear!

So I was going to start by apologizing for not blogging but guess what its my blog and I do what I want...Ok just kidding.  I was a senior class and advisor and a teacher at the end of the school stops lets be real here folks.

So last summer I spent most of my summer grieving.  Not like sitting around weeping but finally allowing some of my new reality minus my dad to sit in.  That also caused me to have a case of all the feels-in fact that still happens.  Sometime after the holidays and after my birthday I started to wake up.  Almost like I was walking around not 100% there for a year and half.  Well as time marches on so does life.  I started to realize the promise I made to myself the day my dad died wasn't actually happening.  The day he died I was being driven home by Ryan, looking out the window at a beautiful sunset happening over my favorite farm on the ride home and swore to myself that I would not let my dad's sudden death ruin me.  I wouldn't allow this to be the thing that crippled me, it wouldn't lead me to a life of bad behavior, it wouldn't be my excuse to be unhealthy it would be my motivation to life my life.  Well what I realized a few months ago was I haven't really been living I have been surviving.

So lets be real-any parent of young children is in sort of survival mode in terms of their own well being.  We do what we can when we can.  Yet, when reflecting on my life since my dad's death I hadn't been doing as much as I could.  I wasn't taking time for myself, I wasn't doing things I loved, I was experiencing life-I was going through the motions. Some of that was out of need that a lot of times emotions are still too overwhelming for me-but I owed myself and my dad's memory more.

So I promised myself as much as I could this summer-it would be the summer of ME!  Not in a selfish-F-you to everyone else-but that I would work on me.  I would do the things I had been putting off doing, I would do things I wanted to do-why because I wanted to do them, I would be the kind of mom I wanted to be, I would do things that scared me-why because I was alive to do them.

So this spring I started planning.  I threw out my old planner and got one that I could bullet (look up bullet journals-life changing).  I began by taking a sewing class shortly after my birthday.  I have always wanted to quilt so I started with a basic class.  Next week I will most likely be taking another and I am signing up to take an intro to sewing class in August!  I am even buying a sewing machine as soon as it gets instock!

Next thing was I promised myself I would begin to take care of my health a bit more.  We all know that is a sore spot with me.  I realized I need to work on being ok where I am and make changes for health.  I committed back to WW last week and although I will show a gain this week (July 4th and Chinese before weight in) I am going to be going all summer.  I scheduled a physical to discuss some of my stomach issues, my weight, my ankle issues, and scariest of all the possibility that I need to have my heart checked in case I have the same thing my dad did (it is from birth so most likely I don't but need to be safe).  I also signed up for yoga and have been working out several times a week.

Along those lines my good friend J told me about MELT fitness.  It is a bootcamp style class but they also help modify for the big girls like me.  I signed up for a 21 day challenge with 3 extra optional weeks.  This will bring me to the start of school.  To join is every expensive so my plan is to do this till school then join a gym and do MELT when money allows.  

Then finally, I started working with a Disney advisor to plan our Disney trip.  This is something I have dreamed about doing since Josie started to get into pricnesses.  Not that I didn't want to take Dylan but I knew he would love the ride etc for longer then princesses would be magical for Josie.  So I am booking that this week. Yes, the kids are young and it is super expensive and I am still trying to pay off our debt...but I just have felt this need to go.  Years before my dad died I was talking to the daycare workers and I said "I am going to wait till they are older since it costs so much" they looked at me and said "don't wait-you can always  make it work and do stuff cheaper if you need-don't wait because you never know what could happen God forbid" When they said I brushed it off to sentimental old ladies.....but this has stuck with me since my dad passed. Its not like he would be going with us to Disney-hell no he hated that sort of stuff.  He could have probably paid us just to make sure he didn't have to go!  Yet, that thought of why should I wait.  If I can make it happen then why wait.  I have a student now who is 16 and her mother is terminally ill.  Her mother's biggest regret is not being able to take her to disney-there is even a go fund my page.  If my ass didn't need a push to go here it is now.

So much rambling later you can see I am really making an effort to find myself.  Find out who I am now that I have lost my dad and I am navigating this world in a whole new way.  For those of you who still read this...get ready for lots of rambling because I need this space more than ever now that I am working on me!  

Three months ago I read an article in the New York Times that was discussing the new trend of adult coloring books and how they are a new trend and that adults gravitate towards them for lot of reasons but mainly for the stress relieving aspect of just zoning out and coloring.  Well I immediately went on Amazon to order that coloring book but it was sold out.  Then later that day I got an email asking if I wanted to review an adult coloring book....SWEET!!! Of course I did.  The only issue was because of the New York Times article the coloring book was sold out and I was going to have to wait till they ran another printing.  Well it was worth the wait (Ironically I bought myself another coloring book to color with Miss J and this one came in the mail that day).

Well the book is beautiful to say the least.  It contains all hand drawn designs that are both beautiful and detailed.  Also since they are the Mandalas they are all these interconnected circle designs.  When looking at them it is hard to decided where one flower starts and the other ends.  There is something almost meditative in even looking at them and contemplating which part of the design is one flower.  

I bought myself new pencils, markers, and pens to color with-because frankly I didn't want to share my coloring book or my coloring utensils with the children.  I loved doing it and it was super relaxing.  

The book suggests coloring for 30 minutes with relaxing music which is a lovely idea but one of which my mommy self just laughed at because....if I had 30 quiet minutes to listen to music I would be sleeping not coloring!

I would highly recommend this book it retails for ten dollars but it is currently on amazon for under six!!!! (Affiliate Link Here)   and it also comes with the ability to download more designs online that did not make it into the book.  I feel it is well worth it....especially for mom's who can now have a fun coloring book that doesn't involve cartoons!
So now that it is finally summer I finally feel like I can finally take a breath and look around.  I sort of have put my head down and just did the every day stuff.  Got up, went to work, took care of my family, went to bed.  I honestly did not spend much if anytime taking care of myself or allowing my self to grieve.  Of course I have cried-but I would often take a deep breath-push that down, and keep pushing forward.  I even began a little side job to keep myself busy (as if i wasn't busy enough already).  I did it because if I was busy I wasn't alone with my thoughts or sadness.  Lets be honest I knew this wasn't healthy but it was survival.  Now that summer has hit I have time...and as much as I really would love to continue to push this sadness away and not acknowledge what is my new reality I can't do that anymore.  Its not healthy for me or for my family.  I have gained about 15 pounds in the last few months because I am not taking care of myself.  I was just pushing pushing pushing.  

Well not anymore.  I need to deal.  I need to start clawing my way back.  I was in a good place in the fall before this happened.  So those are my goals.  Here they are
1.  To deal with my shit
2.  To run a 10k

So odd these two things may seem but they are sort of one in the same.  My goal is to spend time this vacation dealing with all that comes with grief.  This is not to say that I am dellusional and think that this will all instantly be better. I just need to take time to grieve and be sad and work through some of this shit.  I also need to take care of myself.  I think now that I have nothing but time I can start to focus on that a bit more. Which is why I picked goal number two.  Running is hard for sucks but in a way it helps me sort out my thoughts.  I said once that I am often to busy trying not to die while running that I can't think about all the other crap in my head.  So I picked a goal (and this will be a hard one) and registered for a 10K the day before we go back to work.  I am scared that I might not make my goal but I go out almost every other day and get one step closer to that goal.  Its hard and sucks but you know what sucks...loosing my dad.  So running isn't really that hard in comparison.  

So I hope to keep you updated on these goals. Do you have any summer goals or hopes?  

As the school year is coming to close I always have visions of grandeur about my summer vacation.  The amazing summer projects I will complete, the 100 pounds I will loose, and how I will somehow have a clean house.  Well this year as been a particularly rough one at school so my goal is to spend a lot of my vacation recharging my batteries, spending time with my kids, and getting myself grounded and ready to start what will be a crazy next school year as we go to block scheduling and new teacher evaluations.  Yet, no more talk of the negative, lets talk about what awaits me for the next 8 weeks!  So here are my summer to do lists.  I can't wait to begin! 

Reading List
-The Star Attraction-Alison Sweeney (review book)
-Prime time Princess-Lindy Dekoven (review book)
-Change your life in 7 days-Paul McKenna (review book)
-Joy Worthy-Julie McGrath (review book)
-Budget Diva's Guide to Slashing grocery bill by 50% or more-Sara Lundberg (review book)
-Love Anthony-Lisa Genova
-Cold Light-Traci Slatton
-The Queen's Fool-Philippa Gregory
-The Kingmaker's Daughter-Philippa Gregory
-Reading Lolita in Tehran-Azar Nafisi
Image taken from

Non-reading To Do
-Vacation with the Hubby
-See the BFF Twice
-Complete 5 graduate classes (if this becomes too stressful I may get rid of it)
-Complete at two official 5k's
-Get my time to under 40min on a 5k
-Work on my self help books
-Blog three times a week
-Enjoy my down time with my family
-Scan kids artwork and make books about their year
-Make a photo album online of this year
-Work on at least three months of Josie's first year scrapbook (once I am done with her first year I am moving to all digital)
-Take one nap a week
-Go outside at least once everyday day (weather permitting)
-Average at least 9000 steps a day
-Go on one "trip" each week with the kids to a museum, park, zoo, etc