I don't have a ton to report it was a crazy week with a few days off for vacation and a few days back at work and add to it bad weather.  I have been hanging in. Weight wise I am a bit up this week from stress eating. There is some major issues in my real life that I am sure I will share when I am ready to hit the publish button.  We had a #disneyside party at our house this weekend and lets just say I am at the point where I need to just throw left overs away because me and stress and sweets are not a good combo-ever!

As far as this weeks topic I am always willing to hear what are good things to look at changing for the better for my kids.  That is why I started on this journey because I wanted to get healthy to be a role model for them.  I am always looking at what small changes I can do to make their lives better.  For me I a can't do radical full change, I am a small step girl.  So for me the first big small step I took was changing over to organic dairy and meat when we can and organic fruits and veggies as much as possible.  It just makes me feel better that I am making good choices with my money for my family.  

On a related note I am loving the topic of the week for Mamavation (if you all haven't gotten on the Mamavation train you so need to-go to the site right now www.mamamvation.com) or check them out on FB great stuff.  The weekly blogging carnival has helped me find some many great new products and see what other real life busy moms are doing to improve their families lives.  

Ok so just a quick check in for me.  I am still holding on trying to find my footing in this whole healthiness journey.  My kid is still not sleeping and what was going to be a nice vacation has been spent mostly snow bound.  As any parent of small children mass days inside is never, ever a good thing.

I have been trying to make an effort to take some me time and have been doing ok.  My focus for this cup coming week is working out four times and logging in to MFP for five days in a row.  I will let you all know how things are going.

Before I leave though I do need to point you all to a few great posts that are worth looking at

One is the Mamavation new campaign with Mushrooms (how fun is this).  I am contemplating applying.  Why not I could use a good kick in the pants. http://www.mamavation.com/2014/02/apply-to-the-mushroommakeover-30-day-weight-loss-ambassador-challenge.html

Also, Suzi Storm is one of my favorite bloggers.  I loved her when she lost her weight and if I am being honestly I have really begun to love her for her raw honesty about what it is to gain back weigh that you have lost.  She is an amazon blogger and this is her guest post that really stuck with me.  http://www.weightoffmyshoulders.com/2014/02/guest-post-never-say-never-by-suzi-storm/
Ok so I have always decided that since this is my safe place and that I can talk about anything I am going to.  I have made loose reference to my recent weight gain.  It isn't horrific but I currently weight more than I have in about two years.  As of about a week or so  ago the scale was at 236.  I hate even typing it.  I feel anxiety while putting it up on the page.  I hate it I really do. Yet there is part of me that wants to not care about it. It is a number.  Just that. It isn't a judgment about me.  It doesn't say if I am a good or bad person.  It is a number.  It is a number that I need to make smaller for my health of course.  Yet, often I do let that number define me and I shouldn't.

It is a fucking number..that is all.  Nothing other than that.  One small (or large in my case) measurement of my overall healthy.  That number ran a 5k….I know people 100 pounds thinner than me that couldn't do that.

That said, I need that number to get smaller-I just do.  So I have been working on that and am glad to report that those numbers are heading in the right direction.  Even if they don't I need to work on that being ok.  That is another post for another day.

To all of you struggling with a number…..don't let that be who you are.   It is nothing more than a number.

Photo Credit:Stuart Miles ,Freedigitalphotos.net
So a few weeks ago a IRL (in real life) friend sent me a Facebook message.  She was asking me about something I posted for me New Years resolution.  For sake the anonymity lets call her Lexy Sexy Pants (I told her this is how she would be addressed).  Well she wanted to first make sure I was ok and that something I had mentioned was not about her (which it wasn't really-but please we all always think it is about us).  When I first got the message my initial thought was…OMG how exciting real people read my blog….then it was followed be OMG HOLY SHIT real people read my blog.

Now I have always made it a policy both with my blog and real life that I would never say anything online or in "gossip" that I wouldn't say to someone's face.  So I had a great chat with Lexy Sexypants and explained what my blog post had meant and it was a great conversation.  Yet, it started me thinking about other things I have posted.  It made me wonder have things I have said been taken the wrong way, taken out of context, or just in general perhaps rubbed people the wrong way.  For the most part I am still writing this blog as if no one reads it-real or online.  I use this as my outlet to air my thoughts.  I forgot that sometimes my emo moments expressed on her could be taken in the wrong way.  I am not saying that this was the case with Miss Sexy pants…it wasn't.  I just started to question the things that I have written and the blog posts of the future.  I have a post in the queue with my weight on it and one about why I have been a bit MIA.  There are times that I doubt if I want to hit the publish key because in reality Lexy isn't the only person reading this blog.  When I ran for the Mamavaiton campaign I sort of let my online and real life collide.  Other than an occasional comment here and there I never really thought that people in my real life read that blog.  This is perhaps because my own husband doesn't read my blog.  He knows it exists, but he has never read it not once.

Yet, after much consideration I decided that I am not going to stop doing what I do because of how my words might be taken.  I have always lived by a code that you should never say something you aren't willing to talk about.  But even more than that, I have surrounded myself both in online and in real life with amazing people.  People who will never give a shit about how much I weigh or how emo this blog gets.  They will always be my support so I should worry about what I say on here or how I come across.

So now that the initial shock has passed I am excited more in the OMG people read my blog.  Oh and one more thing- Lexy Sexy Pants-this time I am talking about you!

So this week's Mamavation topic is non-toxic cleaners.  For me I personally love Method cleaners.  Now I do know that they are not as "clean" as some but I really do like that and have switched over.  I may start to investigate other cleaner options.  I am looking forward to seeing what everyone over at Mamavation is using.

Now on to my personal update. It has been awhile since I have blogged.  I am sort of in hiding.  Not a weight thing just a lot going on at home.  I will post more about that later.  Weightloss wise I have been doing good I have lost about four pounds in the last few weeks and am tracking again which is good.  Still trying to figure out the exercise routine and fitting that in. Papa Hunt has been working out with me which is nice but sometimes he backs out so then I am hard time pressing on-on my own.  Also today I took the dogs out and took one out for a wee bit of a jog and it felt great.  I think I may try and get out on warmer days and do a quick mile or so jogging and walking so that when I get back to the running in the spring I am not completely back to zero.

So how has everyone else been doing out there?  What are your fav non toxic cleaning products?