Last night I had to go to the doctor.  I felt just off on Tuesday and I thought it was just the stress of going back to work after an extended vacation.  Then I started having random sweating and hot flashes.  Then on the way out of the house I was so hungry I snagged a munchkin and by the time I got to school my stomach pains were so bad I was nervous.  So I called the Dr and made an appointment and throughout the day I realized that these were the symptoms that go with the stomach bug that is working its way through every household and school here in CT.  I am a complete pussy (excuse the language) when it comes to being sick to my stomach, I can't handle it because I have a ridiculous fear of throwing up.  Any who while at the doctor getting some medicine for the nausea and she comes in and says hello Mrs. Hunt how are you.....my reply is the standard one I always give...I am good how are you.  HELLO I wasn't good I had horrific stomach pains and was on the verge of dry heaving right there in the room.  I know that years and years of giving this response it is automatic, it is the polite thing to do.  Yet why would I always do it when its not the case.  Why do I always err on the side of being polite and doing the nice thing rather than saying what I really feel.  I was sick, sicker than I have been in a long time.  This moment makes me realize that I have made a lot of progress in being a more authentic self but there are moments where I sort of do things from habit rather than with true thought.  Lets be honest, what is the harm in someone, not just me but anyone being truthful when they are having a bad day.  I think that maybe everyone needs to be a bit more truthful-I think I would like those who are around me (especially my friends and family) I would love for them to be truthful.  Let me know when they are not OK so I can be an extra support, check in on them, and wish them well.  Yet, I know more people are like me who are so tuned into acting a certain way and fear sounded like a negative Nelly that they give this fake response.  Maybe this is something for me to work on during this new year.
1 Response
  1. Sorry to hear you are not feeling well (and slightly sorry I am laughing picturing you telling the doctor you are good- I can totally understand the gut reaction). Hope you feel better soon and we should work on actually being honest, I appreciate everything you have shared in the past- I feel like I know you better for it!

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