First and foremost Happy St. Patrick's Day to those that do the Irish thing.  We did the whole corned beef and cabbage thing at my parents house Sunday night.  They get this amazing corned beef at their butcher that has almost no fat on it….so it isn't' your standard greasy corned beef.  It was so good!


I haven't posted in awhile things get crazy and I have to shut out all the non essentials which often includes social media and blogging.  That aside I have been really doing much better with my food choices lately and have even lost a few pounds so that is great.  I am still working on getting the exercise in.  That piece has been hard because of the sleep issues in our house.  When we aren't sleeping well it makes it hard to get up the energy to exercise.  I have a goal of three times a week so I will hopefully be back report success.

I have also joined a few online challenge groups to try and help inspire me along the way.  How has everyone's week been going?
                                                       

Ok so before I get to the exciting topic at hand…favorite healthy recipe a quick update.  I am still stalled through well all the fault of my own.  It is finals week at work so I am crazy there, the hubs had the stomach flu then regular sick, then I had a bladder and kidney infection, and now I am sick.  Needless to say I am still maintaining because getting the healthy eating and exercise routine has been tough…but I am starting fresh today.  Had a healthy breakfast despite feeling like crap and plan to eat as good as I can till I can workout.  I have a chest cold so my plan is to work the upper body Mamavation 2 week challenge exercises until I can do more of the stuff that involves cardio (well not cardio but you know more deep breathing!).

Also, I have a lot on my mind lately…some of it personal with my own journey that I will talk about later but also some people I love are going through a lot.  SO those who do the prayer thing if you could all say a prayer for a high school classmate and niece of my mom's BFF her son is going in for his second round of antibody treatment (her son has a horrible form of cancer and had been through chemo and a stem cell transplant already).  They need this treatment to work so I will be praying hard from them.  Also a friend from work is having a mastectomy today and for some reason this has me really emotional.  This woman is the funniest, sweetest, most positive woman you will ever meet.  She comes to work and teaches when she can despite being super sick.  She is amazing and I know this is a major surgery and needed but it still breaks my heart for her (as of hitting publish her husband posted she is out of surgery).  So prayers for them both today as they both get one step closer to kicking cancer's ass.


Ok so on to some good stuff….so this recipe is adapted and stolen from www.skinnytaste.com.  It is the easiest cookie ever!  Plus my kids will eat them and think they are "real" cookies not the healthy stuff.  You take two bananas mash them up, add in one cup of quick oats, and a few tablespoons of chocolate chips (I use vegan) bake at 350 till slightly browned and firm.  YUMMMYYYYYY!!!  Super easy and  not that horrible health wise.

So how is every else's week going?  I can't wait to read about everyone's healthy recipes this week!

So I feel bad about my neglected little blog....how I have missed it. I wish I could say that things are less crazy they aren't.  The discussion at school has been how our stress level is currently at the level it is at the end of the school when we can just suck up the ridiculousness because summer vacation is two weeks away.  It is not good people.  We have had people who have quit and left for other schools in the first month, teachers crying, and others stressed to the breaking point.  I am trying to just keep my head down, not get to sucked into the drama, and know in my heart I am doing good things in my classroom.

One highlight of the last few weeks is that after weeks of worrying if I am doing an ok job helping and meeting the needs of my many special education students the special ed teacher in my room said to me "You know I wouldn't just say this....but you are doing amazing things with the kids....not just my kids (the special education ones) but all of them.  You have a way with them and are getting through to them"  I started to cry.  All I want to do is teach my students, push them as hard as I can, and make them better citizens who know a little bit more about history when they leave.  I don't give a shit about state tests, or new teacher evaluation programs, or any other thing that you will measure my performance by.  I just want to teach...not all this other stuff.  Ok done ranting.  Sorry peeeps this is my place to let it all out.


So weight loss fitness etc update.  I have been plugging away with my running still.  My race that I hope to run the whole thing is two weeks away.  I don't think I will be able to run the whole thing but I should be close to it and that is going to have to be good enough.  I also signed up with a beach body coach and am doing t25 (sort of PX90 mini sessions) to try and get my ass back in gear.

How is life for everyone else going?  What is new in the bloggy world?

So as I said in my last post I said I wasn't buried under a pile of papers...well not yet at least.  The start of the school year has been a lot to take in.  This year my school went with a new schedule which is modified block (that means some days my classes meet for 44 min the other days they meet for 86).  The also allows for a daily meeting with other teachers to work on new state mandates.  In addition we have changed the levels from AP/Honor 1, 2, 3, (three being the lowest) to AP, Honors, and Academic which means all new classes because the students in the classes now have different abilities.  At the end of last year I chose to go back to teaching the lowest level classes (I always had taught the lowest level until about three years ago).  Well since then there have been a lot of changes included a lot more needy children in our district along with full inclusion classrooms.  This has been a very hard adjustment.  Not anything I can't handle and I already love my students but it is overwhelming when almost half the class has learning disabilities, emotional disabilities, physical disabilities that impair their learning, or students who are just learning the English language.  I also have some students who have such challenging disabilities they are non-verbal.  Yet, because of the new state standards for teacher evaluations part of my job is based on whether or not I can have these kids do better on a standardized test from the beginning of the year to the end.  It is scary...it doesn't mean I hate my students or their needs, it is just overwhelming.

Its overwhelming to know that a large portion of my yearly evaluation is now based on student performance.  I know I am a good teacher, I know that I work hard and my students learn, its just now they are tested in a manner that I don't agree with.  There are kids in my room now matter how much they try will never do well on this writing and reading test (PS I teach history and they aren't tested on history they are tested on reading and writing skills-that is whole other post it self).  I hate having to care about this.  I want to care about my subject matter, I want to care about bringing history alive for my students in a way that reaches all my students regardless of ability level.  Yet, reality is I have to care and that is overwhelming.

Its also overwhelming in the amount of need my students have.  I want them all to be successful and they all need such different things. I no lie have a special education teacher making me a chart to organize the accommodations that each student gets so I don't forget anyone's accommodations.  It is overwhelming because I am passionate about what I do.  I want every student to be successful in my room and I am willing to do whatever it takes to try and make that happen but when in my smallest class a minimum of ten students have to get special services I worry I am going to forget to do something for a kid and I would feel awful.  I know this will all be fine in a few more weeks when I get to know my students better and their needs and their educational preferences but right now it is overwhelming even when I have my smallest amount of students ever at just over 80. 

So because I have been so overwhelmed with work, keeping up with all my new responsibilities and requirements for the teacher evaluation program, and getting prepared for these new classes it has left me emotionally drained.  To the point of tears some days I am so tired.  Add in a 6 year old with anxiety who has trouble sleeping at night and that makes for one mom who is unmotivated to do anything more than her job as a mom and teacher.  That has pushed aside any desire to exercise or continue to train for my 5k.  This makes me sad because I was on schedule for my Oct 19th Penguin run.  I am going to try and still get there but it is hard to focus on anything else right now.  In fact I have so many amazing books and products to review but I cant even think about those yet.  

Yet, I realized that if I am going to take care of my kids and my students I have to start taking care of me.  It isn't that I have been eating bad I haven't its just lack of exercise.  So I decided a schedule is daunting so my plan is this.  I have signed up for the Mamavation 2 week challenge which I plan to do every day and I want to get out and jog when the weather is nice enough and we have time in the family schedule for me to get out there.  Realistically some days it may be one or the other and I am ok with that.  I just need to get back to having at least 30min a day for me and that me times need to be fitness.

Hey readers,  thanks for hanging in there with me.  It has been a wild ride with the start of school-one I truly wasn't expecting.  Thanks for hanging in and your support!

Thank you all so much for very positive and much needed comments on last weeks post. I started by making little steps. I started tracking again and also getting back on track with my C25K program. Additionally, I sat down yesterday with a five week calendar and wrote out all my workouts. Now I do know that weather might play a factor in this but I figured I would treat it the same way I treated my workouts when I was a Mamavation Mom...if I have to I double up one day or twitch the days around a bit. I felt that if I had a workout schedule I had something to focus on. I also tried challenging myself a bit in terms of my workout with running. Instead of taking the easy route while I am doing intervals I know I can run I took a new route to try and today I picked doing the hill running. Now I did have to stop but I did extra running at the end to make up for it. I was proud that I have a plan. Also, I have been working hard on not eating my stress. Usually this time of the summer I have been into my classroom 10 times already to set up, make copies, and plan my first few weeks. Yet, our building is undergoing huge renovations and we are not allowed in with children under 18...so that means no school visits until today when the hubs can watch the kids. My room thankfully doesn't need a lot of work (for those non teachers this is moving furniture, bulletin boards, supplies etc). Yet, I need to be ready to go by Wednesday because we are day tripping this Thursday to Mystic Aquarium and then Friday the hubs is having minor surgery (more on this soon). So that means no more going into work after that. I also went out dress shopping I am a bit geeky but I love a new fancy dress for the first day of school. I didn't find "the"dress but I found a few options for the rest of the year while out. I also really tried to remain positive and not look incessantly at all my faults and imperfections. I just keep telling myself this isn't about a size or weight this is about being a healthy wife, mom, and teacher for all those who depend on me. This is also while I am taking a bit of a break from posting my weight...I mentioned before I found myself slipping into that dark hole of obsessing about the scale. I am still going to weight watchers, I still weight myself, but I am desperately trying to focus on baby steps as Kia mentioned last week. Thanks again for all the support, I love the comments!!

So as part of the Mamavation Mom application process I have started to have more confidence in what I am doing and that I doing the right thing by making a change in my life.  I realized that I needed to go back to weight watchers.  I need that support and I needed a fresh start with that.  I weighed in at 230 pounds...I hate that.  I hate that at one point I was a lot less than that since having Josie, but you know what it is a starting place!


I also figured I needed some before pictures, not those pictures that I specifically pick to post on facebook or twitter-you know the good ones that make me look fabulous!  Nope the down and dirty unflattering ones.  So here they are my starting point-Holy hell at least this is the starting point

Seirously, I look like I have a baby bump!  This is why I always suck in my tummy

Another starting point for me-I did my first virtual 5k with Mamavation this Saturday.  I have always wanted to run a 5K so on Friday the groupon in CT was a color run in July, so I bought it and I am signed up.  So that means I need to get my ass in gear and get to it.  My time 52 min and only jogged a small portion of it.  But its a starting point.

Me and jog/walking buddy Biscuit

Yet regardless of my starting point-these guys will be at the finish line. They deserve my best and so do I!

Ok all this is going to be a fairly short post because as a teacher and a mom I am home today with the kids.  I will post later this week about getting out of my comfort zone with my kids.  This week was ok.  I had a really crappy day but managed to get in a work out which was a huge success because the hubs started back at school.  My eating wasn't great (I did track it all which was a big deal) I maintained this week so I will take it.  My goal is the same as last week up my water in take, continue to track, and three workouts.  My plan right now is a video workout tomorrow, a trip to the gym possibly Friday, and a tape workout on Wednesday or Thursday.  I wish I could get to the gym-I love it and it has daycare but I can only go on days when I have dinner prepared before I go because the kids go to bed early and the homework for my older on is done ahead of time.  I hope if you have today off you are enjoying it!

Ok so I am going to piss and moan here for a bit.  I have tracked my food all week and exercised almost every day and the scale this week.....NOTHING.  I big ole-nothing.  I know that it is more than the scale.  Lets be honest though we all know that when that scale goes down we feel like we are really heading in the right direction.  I have been stuck at his weight for over two months now.  I know this the weight that I usually get stuck at (I did two previous times) so I know I just have to keep going.  I think of Finding Nemo when they sing "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming" I know it will happen.  I know that the 100 plus degree heat with humidity isn't helping things.  I know I can't quit and I wont.  I just really wanted to loose some serious weight this summer.  I am thinking that maybe rather than have a time frame for my goals I just need to have goals and that is it.  I will save those thoughts for another post!  I did finish another book this week about another bloggers weight loss journey and I will post a review about that first thing next week.  Have a nice weekend everyone!


Book Progress 2/10
Weight Progress .6/20 ;-(

Well this week I got a ton of exercise in walking my puppy and I managed to get to the gym once this week.  Which isn't bad considering we had swim lessons every day this week.  So not only did I get to the pool four times for Mommy and Me lessons (which anyone who has hauled a baby, mine is 25 pounds, around in a pool that is a work out for sure) I walked the dog for at least 30min everyday.  Which leads me to be pissed that even though I tracked my points this week I lost .1-Seriously what the hell is that!  But I just figure it will catch up with me eventually.  I did manage to finish a book-The Queen's Captive by Barbara Kyle and I will be posting a review by the end of the week.  So here are my stats for my summer goal


Book Goal 1/10
Weight Goal .1/20 (not nearly as impressive at the first one!)